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This is surely the invention of the year:
A solar powered bra that can charge a phone
So if you boys ever spot a chica wearing one of these, walk up to her, rest your palm on her device and say: “Is this a solar panel or am I turning you on?”
Damn, that is so bad I feel like slapping myself.
(Link via email from Chandoo.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 15 May, 2008 in
Science and Technology |
WTF
Here’s the WTF headline of the day:
Selectors likely to watch second half of IPL
Why on earth weren’t they watching the first half?
Posted by Amit Varma on 14 May, 2008 in
India |
News |
Sport |
WTF
Loyalty, thy name was dog. It is now Arjun Singh. NDTV reports:
A day after being reportedly snubbed by Sonia Gandhi, Arjun Singh has reacted saying that he would always be loyal to her and her family. [...]
The union minister said that when he met Pundit Nehru in 1960, he pledged his total loyalty to Nehru and his family and have scrupulously adhered to it. He also said that he shall do everything to maintain the loyalty and commitment to remaining members of the family till he lives.
I think Singh deserves greater reward than just the Ministry of Human Resource Development. What about handing him additional charge of the Ministry of Canine Resource Development?
(Link via email from Girish, who asks, “What about [loyalty to] the country?” Heh.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 12 May, 2008 in
India |
News |
Politics |
WTF
It is redundant to mention WTFness when one speaks of Bejan Daruwalla. Here’s a gem:
One night during my moment of revelations with God, I learnt that ‘devi maa’ will conquer the world through her splendid glory. As I was writing my conversation with God and I wrote Ganeshji will support this year through its turbulent times. Next morning to my surprise the letters changed and it was the Goddess in its place.
If you said something like this in any context besides religion, your loved ones would be calling a psychiatrist. But somehow religion makes it all okay.
And hey, remember Pratibha Patil?
Posted by Amit Varma on 08 May, 2008 in
Old memes |
Astrology etc |
WTF
The only good thing about the tie below is that it deflects attention from that WTF shirt. My sensibilities are furiously upset, and I demand that Salman Khan be arrested.
(Image courtesy Rediff.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 08 May, 2008 in
Arts and entertainment |
WTF
Oh man, this is surely the WTF headline of this generation:
Incestuous dad wants credit for not killing children
Just read that story, it’s amazing. The incestuous dad in question is Josef Fritzl, about whom I’d written here. I hope they shove him in jail for the rest of his life and make sure he’s buggered 48 times a day by a posse of trained gorillas, who then get extra bananas for good behaviour because they didn’t kill him. Justice.
(Link via email from Vinjk.)
The unduly excited punctuation of the day comes from Hindustan Times:
Amy Winehouse cheats on hubby again!
I haven’t been following Winehouse’s personal life too closely, but if she cheated on her husband once, as the above headline implies, then why the exclamation mark at the end? (Unless, of course, the sub-editor who wrote that headline is the chappie who got lucky, and the exclamation is also a proclamation.)
Anyway, here’s a blast from the past: An image of Billie Holiday.
Posted by Amit Varma on 05 May, 2008 in
Arts and entertainment |
WTF
The WTF quote of the day comes from Shobhaa De during a Q&A with Rediff:
Rediff: How do you want the world to look at India?
Ms De: If you had asked me this question 10 years ago, I would have said an enchantress. Now, I would say a cerebral courtesan.
What could this possibly mean? Does she, perhaps, want Ratan Tata to learn belly-dancing?
Raj Thackeray has a problem with people from Bihar and UP coming to Mumbai. And he uses the WTF analogy of the day to make his argument:
People tell me that any one can live anywhere according to our Constitution, but even in our own housing society, we disallow children from other societies. Aren’t these children also Indians? Then if I ask people from leaving my Maharashtra society, then what have I done wrong?
A housing society, of course, is private property, and its owners have the right to set whatever rules they want. So by Thackeray’s analogy, Maharashtra is his private property. Well, well, well…
And wait, there’s more. In a quote that takes WTFness to a new level, Thackeray goes on to say:
Amar Singh is a frog. He shoots his mouth off. My activists were accused of throwing bottles on Bachchan’s bungalow. If they have to throw something, they will throw cans, not bottles.
The first person to tell me why gets one year’s free subscription to India Uncut. Thank you.
PS: Rediff quotes Thackeray as saying that his men would have thrown “not a single bottle but a whole crate” if they were so inclined. I suppose he’s confused by all the options open to him. What to throw?
Posted by Amit Varma on 04 May, 2008 in
India |
News |
Politics |
WTF
What a headline:
Is Mallika Sherawat’s dress too revealing?
Apparently some politicians in Chennai are upset that Sherawat, by wearing allegedly revealing clothes at a function, caused “mental agony to the people of Tamil Nadu.” The report is unclear on whether this was caused by her wearing too much clothing or too little, and I can only hope that the mental agony gave way to some kind of pleasurable physical relief.
But really, look at this picture from the event. Sherawat looks more ‘ugh’ than ‘mmm’, and I find the other chica with her much more attractive, with her pretty smile, dignified posture, well-tailored sleeveless kurta and the hint of a diaphanous churidar. Her name is Asin Thottumkal, and her website reveals that her “attitude to charity” is summed up by the following words: “What is done by the right hand is not to be known even by the left hand.”
Is there a lesson there for the people protesting Sherawat?
PS: Don’t miss the comments underneath the Rediff story.
Posted by Amit Varma on 03 May, 2008 in
Freedom |
India |
News |
WTF
Sambit Bal, once my boss at Cricinfo and one of the best men I know, is a cricket writer I admire for his clear thinking and lucid writing. That’s why it hurts when he comes up with a sentence as monstrous as the one below:
Sport runs in Kolkata’s veins; it is ingrained in the socio-cultural fabric of the city, and though fans here can often be irrational, there is also a discernible intellectual rigour to the public discourse on cricket.
I can forgive the cliché at the start of the sentence, but “socio-cultural fabric of the city”? “Public discourse on cricket?” “Discernible intellectual rigour?” Ouch!
Pedantic aside: The ‘though’ makes the ‘also’ redundant.
Posted by Amit Varma on 03 May, 2008 in
Journalism |
Media |
Sport |
WTF
The WTF quote of the day comes from Gulu Ezekiel in Hindustan Times:
The bold new face of modern India now stands exposed as hollow following the slapping drama starring Harbhajan Singh and S Sreesanth.
Q1. What bold new face?
Q2. Assuming that there is a “bold new face of modern India” somewhere, why should it be “exposed as hollow” because one joker slapped another on a cricket field? Harbhajan and Sreesanth are a metaphor for all of us or what?
Indeed, extrapolating grand truths about India from shallow generalizations about cricket is so 2001. Fine, we sighed and took it when Ganguly and Wright’s team was held up as a symbol of how India has changed—but enough already. Both cricket and India are far too complex and nuanced to be captured in such lazy clichés. No?
While actors are at their experimental best these days, Shahid Kapoor will not be left behind. After his stellar performance in Jab We Met, the actor is super-charged and willing to go any distance to get into the skin of the character.
Shahid, we hear, will be opting for a new long-haired look for his upcoming project, a musical, to be directed by Ken Ghosh.
So now you know what commitment means in Bollywood. “Willing to go any distance”, it seems.
And just see that headline!
Posted by Amit Varma on 30 April, 2008 in
Arts and entertainment |
Journalism |
Media |
News |
WTF
... Hindustan Times now has a Facebook beat.
Posted by Amit Varma on 29 April, 2008 in
Journalism |
Media |
WTF
This is surely the WTF headline of the year so far:
Incredible India! Infants thrown off roofs to thank God
Here’s the video. Watch it, it’s astonishing.
And here’s the WTF quote of the piece, from “deputy sarpanch of Musti village, Ravikiran Mehta”:
People have been following this tradition for almost 500 years now. They believe that if they throw the child from the roof then it does good to him or her.
I have a theory for how this tradition came to exist. Centuries ago, some village patriarch went mad and started throwing kids off the roof. The kids got brain-damaged in the process, and continued the tradition when they became parents, causing the next generation to also become brain-damaged. And so on. What else can explain such lunacy?
But wait, there’s more. The last (terribly ungrammatical) sentence of the report says:
Both Muslim and Hindu families take part in this ritual, however the state administration chooses not to interfere and provides heavy police security during the ritual every year.
Yes, the cops don’t protect the kids—they protect the idiots throwing them off a roof. If I pinch myself any more the mosquitoes will go on strike.
(Link via separate emails from vinjk and Mahendra Shikaripur.)
Update: I’d embedded the video on this page, but it kept making a pop-up ad open when this page was refreshed. I hate pop-ups, and would hardly want to inflict such inconvenience on my readers, so I’ve changed that to a link.
Update 2: Krishna Prasad writes in pointing me to his post last year about a similar ritual in North Karnataka. Ah, tradition!
Posted by Amit Varma on 28 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
WTF
Compared to Indian hockey, cricket in India lives up to the cliché of being a gentleman’s game: at least players don’t hit each other, as in common in the sport KPS Gill destroyed. However, Harbhajan Singh seems to have forgotten which sport he was playing yesterday. NDTV reports:
Mumbai Indians captain Harbhajan Singh and Kings XI paceman S Sreesanth were on Friday involved in a bitter row, following which the fast bowler was seen crying bitterly on the ground at the end of their IPL match here.
Harbhajan allegedly slapped Sreesanth after the paceman said something to Harbhajan which offended the off-spinner.
Sources close to [Sreesanth] said that after the match a smiling Sreesanth walked up to Harbhajan - the captain of the losing Mumbai Indians - and said “Hard luck”. “That was enough for Harbhajan to lose his cool and hit Sreesanth under the eye,” said sources close to the fast bowler.
‘Sources close to Sreesanth’ would generally be Sreesanth himself, but I could be wrong. Both the players involved are characters—Sreesanth’s an immature buffoon, Bhajji’s an unmannered lout—but regardless of whether Sreesanth really said something as innocuous as “hard luck,” Harbhajan deserves to have his ass kicked by the authorities. Hitting fellow players just isn’t on, and if they set a precedent of non-punishment, Andrew Symonds and Matthew Hayden might just get wicket wicked ideas.
And really, how could they have made Harbhajan captain of Mumbai Indians? I’d put VVS Laxman down as being the worst captain of the IPL so far, but Harbhajan seems to have brought an extra dimension to the job. Maybe he has a future in parliament.
(NDTV link via email from S Jagadish. Picture courtesy Rediff, who caption it: “India pacer S Sreesanth sheds tears of joy after the Punjab team finished with a 66-run victory.” Eh?)
Update: Rediff’s changed their caption!
Posted by Amit Varma on 26 April, 2008 in
News |
Sport |
WTF
Yesterday’s WTF headline of the day concerned stolen sperm; today, we go one step further:
So if you’re in Kinshasa, and you’re male, keep your penis on you at all times. Don’t let it out of your sight.
The WTF quote of the day comes from Nawab Malik, an NCP MLA who opposes sex education in schools:
What is the need for us to appoint sex gurus? Europe needs sex education because of its declining population rates.
There are other quotes on that page as well, invoking “Indian culture”, “the socio-cultural fabric of the country” and suchlike. Yawn. All these gentlemen seem to think that sex education means learning how to have sex, and I think they need to be educated about sex education. I suppose you could call that sex-education education.
Posted by Amit Varma on 24 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
WTF
All hail the WTF headline of the day:
Police arrest 2 in India for allegedly stealing sperm
I know, I know. You have a good day too.
(Link via email from Gautam.)
In unnecessary gizmos for government bigwigs—especially ones that will keep them occupied during traffic jams. Mid Day reports that Mumbai’s mayor Shubha Raul recently threw a “tantrum” and demanded a laptop.
“Raul liked the additional municipal commissioner’s laptop and said she wanted one like it, but we gave her a better model,” said an IT officer. “It’s the best laptop in the BMC.”
Raul obviously is happy. “Who doesn’t want to get the best in the world? I am no exception. At least now, when I’m stuck in traffic jams, I can entertain myself with the laptop. I have never been tech savvy, but I will learn,” said Raul.
I don’t grudge our mayor a laptop, even if her post is largely ceremonial, but see the one she got. It’s a Toshiba Qosmio G40 costing Rs. 1.65 lakh. That’s like buying a Merc as an official car—it’s simply not necessary. I bought a beautiful Dell Inspiron 1525 a month ago for 45k, and it performs every function the mayor could possibly require—unless she’s editing films or creating special effects for Star Trek .
And see the woman’s gumption. Who doesn’t want to get the best in the world? she says. That’s my money you’re spending, Mrs Raul. Have some shame.
(Link via email from Amol Chavan. For more on how our government loots us, check out my Taxes Archive.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 23 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
Old memes |
Taxes |
WTF
The ancients looked to religion as a source of happiness. In our times, those who are enlightened turn to Rediff message boards. Rediff has a news story up today about “a mid-air scare” suffered by Manmohan Singh’s plane. At the time of posting this, these are the latest few comments there:
Our MAN Munna sing was getting abducted by Sonia
by mahamadpoppat on Apr 23, 2008 08:22 AMOur MAN Munna sing was getting abducted by Sonia
Scare and Aliens
by prashanth prashanth on Apr 23, 2008 08:09 AMThis shows aliens in Indian space.
RE:Scare and Aliens
by Ananya on Apr 23, 2008 08:14 AMha ha ha, you are surely one of them :)
RE:Scare and Aliens
by raghu bear on Apr 23, 2008 08:25 AMhey ananya whats up where r u from ? :)
Spy by americans
by lourdes xavier on Apr 23, 2008 08:02 AMIt may also be some kind of spy.
They just digg into small issues. but forgot to analysis on larger issues. Poor Mammohan
Needless to say, I’ll be following that page closely to see if Ananya replies to raghu bear. Who knows, this could be the start of a beautiful romance.
In response to a Congress sycophant referring to Rahul Gandhi as “a ‘Yuvraj’ (prince) of the common man”, Balbir Punj of the BJP said in the Rajya Sabha:
Somebody being referred to as Yuvraj in a democratic country has to be a joke.
Perhaps Punj misunderstood, and it was a cricketing reference. After all, Gandhi has also been compared to MS Dhoni. Would Punj ever say:
Somebody being referred to as Dhoni in a democratic country has to be a joke.
No, but seriously, every minute of Rajya Sabha proceedings amounts to large amounts of taxpayers’ money, and it is disgraceful that so much money is wasted on such nonsense. BJP’s goons and Gandhi-Parivar asslickers are quite welcome to bicker on their own money and their own time. But when the Rajya Sabha convenes, it should discuss matters of governance and legislation, and nothing else. No?
(Rediff link via email from Vinjk.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 22 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
Politics |
WTF
"An Italian man was given a suspended jail sentence,” Reuters reports, “for staring too intensely at a woman sitting in front of him on a train.”
It seems that he’s appealing the ruling. ”Yer honour, I’m cock-eyed,” the chap should argue, ”I was really staring at the immensely dishy man next to her.”
Reuters also has the WTF headline of the day:
In an article on teenage depression, Rediff has the following WTF lines:
Sometimes depression is exhibited when a child runs away from home, talks of death, attempts suicide.
This is when friends and parents should sit up and take notice, says Dr Shetty.
So if not for Dr Shetty’s timely warning, kindly brought to us by Rediff, parents would have taken no notice of suicide attempts by their kids. Like so:
“Aji, Sunte ho, Rinky’s run away from home and Chintu’s slit his wrists again.”
“Hmm. Get me some chips, no, five overs left, fifty runs to win.”
“Okay, but I hope your cricket gets over before Kkkkkkkusum starts.”
And also, before they change it, just see the picture running with that page of the story!
Posted by Amit Varma on 21 April, 2008 in
WTF
The Times of India has a story today about how rapists and alleged rapists are treated especially badly in jail:
If one goes to jail on murder charges, he might gain respect from fellow inmates. But, if he is in the prison as an accused or a convict for rape, then from the time he enters the jail, his life is hell. Under the unwritten code he is subject to mental, physical and sexual assault. The first welcome comes from the jail staff which gives him a sound thrashing.
Then, in the barracks, the prisoners individually and in groups beat up the new inmate at random.
I have three questions here, the first one deliberately naive:
1. Do prisoners lose all their rights when they are imprisoned? Aren’t prison authorities supposed to protect them from other prisoners, or does anarchy reign in what should be the most secure places in our land?
2. My first reaction on reading the story was to think, Who cares about a convicted rapist? Fuck him. But the ToI story points out that even undertrials accused of rape face this treatment. If our legal system treats an accused as innocent until proven guilty, as it should, shouldn’t the prison system take that into account?
3. Isn’t it amazing that this is actually a revenue stream for cops? Consider how the ToI piece ends:
Even the rich are not spared under the prisoner’s code for rapists. An accused who was released recently from the Sabarmati Central Jail told TOI that even Sajal Jain, the prime accused in the Bijal Joshi gang rape case, had to go through punishment under this code. His family had to pay protection money to prevent further harassment.
Protection money?
Posted by Amit Varma on 21 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
WTF
Ans. It doesn’t matter how they come as long as they come.
Yes, I’ve been watching the Indian Premier League, and while the cricket is good, the commentary’s getting on my nerves. I wrote a few years ago on how cricket commentary (and writing) in India relies so much on cliches, and things haven’t changed. Having said that, the danger of some of these commentators not using cliches is that they start talking nonsense. Yesterday, for example, I heard L Sivaramakrishnan say:
It’s a hard man’s game – that’s why it’s a profession.
This was during Extraaa Innings, and its host responded to this by saying “yes, yes, you are right,” or something to that effect. I had been prepared for a long evening a couple of hours before by Ravi Shastri saying that VVL Laxman is “an excellent slipper”, but Siva never fails to surprise you. What a guy.
Posted by Amit Varma on 21 April, 2008 in
Journalism |
Media |
Sport |
WTF
The Times of India reports:
One morning, when Jatinderbir Singh woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin. He lay on his armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he could see his brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections.
Hey, wait a minute! That’s not ToI! That’s Kafka! This is ToI:
An Army man has learnt the hard way that marriages are made in heaven and marital ties are difficult to sever, with the Supreme Court asking him to resume married life despite an estrangement of 17 years, 14 of them spent in litigation.
In other words, Jatinderbir Singh doesn’t want to live with his wife—indeed, they’ve been separated for the last 17 years. But the court knows what’s good for him better than he does. Gadzooks. Wake up, Franz, you got work to do!
Earlier: Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Posted by Amit Varma on 18 April, 2008 in
Freedom |
India |
News |
WTF
Vikram Goyal wrote in to me yesterday with a screenshot of the IPL website: eloquently, it said “Server Active”.
He writes in again today pointing out that the problem has been fixed: the IPL website now says “Forbidden”.
In the context of this news, I think you will join me in applauding this masterful display of irony.
Do you know what happiness is? I’ll tell you what happiness is. Happiness is coming across a WTF quote like this:
On this planet, only human beings can desire. Animals can’t. They are programmed to behave in a way and they do not have the faculty to desire. Have you seen Indian monkeys queuing up outside the US consulate? You don’t. Because monkeys do not have that desire to go to the US.
This is a gentleman named Swami Dayananda Saraswati speaking. I find on his Wikipedia page that he has taught Vedanta courses in the US. From this we can conclude that a) Swamiji is not a monkey and b) Swamiji has desires.
I’m confused about whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
(Link via email from Chandoo. Image via Rediff.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 14 April, 2008 in
WTF
This headline could work as a state-of-the-nation report:
Delhi: Neighbours beat up rape victim
She was asking for it, you think?
Posted by Amit Varma on 12 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
WTF
Dear Mitra
You write in your column today that your support of reservations “is not a socialist stance.” Quick question: Are you aware of the meaning of the word ‘socialist’?
A socialist society typically redistributes wealth—reservations redistribute opportunities. Same difference.
You speak about “universities (and eventually the private sector, I hope)” being “forced” to implement reservations. Forced? So you see coercion as the basis of social justice? That sounds familiar.
You write at the end of your piece: “[A] day might come in the rest of India where you ask two young men on a college campus what caste the other is—and each will say he doesn’t even know.” Well, I wasn’t aware of my caste in my college years, or that of my friends. With prosperity and an open economy, barriers of caste gradually erode. Yes, India has a long, long way to go before we’re prosperous enough and open enough, but consider that reservations actually increase one’s awareness of caste, and exacerbate tensions between them. You cannot fight injustice with injustice.
Warm regards
Amit
*
Link via email from Nitin Pai. More open letters here.
Posted by Amit Varma on 11 April, 2008 in
Freedom |
India |
Letters |
Politics |
WTF
WTF headline of the day:
Olympic torch must pass through India safe: Left
No doubt the Left can spout rhetoric about sports and politics being kept separate, but here’s my question: Would Sitaram Yechury, D Raja and their band of jokers take a similar stand if these Olympics were being held in the USA and not China?
(Link via email from reader Mukund.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 09 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
Politics |
WTF
WTF headline of the day:
MP allegedly calls pilot a ‘glorified driver’
What a bizarre way to abuse someone. I wish the pilot had turned around and called him a glorified domestic servant. Indeed, the pilot’s taxes go into paying the MP’s salary; the converse isn’t true. I know which of them I think is a parasite on society.
Of course, had the pilot actually said that, domestic servants across the country would have been justified in feeling offended.
(Link via email from Sridhar Loke.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 09 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
Politics |
WTF
On painting Uttar Pradesh blue.
This is right out of Calvino, it is. Isn’t the sky enough for Mayawati?
(Link via email from Abhisek Pandey. For more on how our government loots us, check out my Taxes Archive.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 08 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
Old memes |
Taxes |
Politics |
WTF
A Brit woman who could not get out of her trousers to go to the loo dialled emergency and claimed to be locked in a chastity belt.
Robeena Cheema’s real belt buckle had jammed and she needed help. But because she knew that rescuers would not treat it as an emergency, she claimed that she was stuck in a chastity belt.
Twelve firefighters went to help after her call and opened the buckle despite the false claim.
If she was in India, you think she would have called the cops?
(Link via email from Chandoo.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 08 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
WTF
Amitabh Bachchan’s made his choice.
Posted by Amit Varma on 08 April, 2008 in
Arts and entertainment |
Freedom |
India |
News |
WTF
What would Shakespeare have done with Dwarika Prasad? Consider this man’s tragedy: first his wife leaves him, and he is alone in his old age; then his savings get wiped out because he kept his money in a bank locker and termites ate it all.
Prasad claims he had kept Rs 4.5 lakh in cash, FD papers, Kisan Vikas Patras and National Savings Certificates worth Rs 2.5 lakh apart from some gold and silver jewellery in the locker two years ago. He showed the perforated currencies and documents to the bank authorities, who in turn showed him a notice pasted on the wall near the locker room requesting customers to remove their important papers from lockers as termites were eating up the documents!
Needless to say the notice had escaped his attention, and now his money, a lifetime’s work, his Gogol’s overcoat, was gone. The bank in question was a government bank, of course, though I would hesitate to attribute any metaphorical significance to the termites.
(Link via email from MadMan.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 06 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
WTF
Just a few days after offering Barack Obama a vice-presidential nomination despite running second to him, Hillary Clinton has now come out with another 3am campaign ad against… John McCain. She is still, by the way, in second place for the Democratic nomination. I suppose this is an attempt to demonstrate than only she can take on McCain in the general elections, but supporters of Obama must be rather taken aback by her, um, audacity. Here’s her ad:
And below the fold, John McCain’s reply:
The Times of India reports that the Central Information Commission, which is supposed to make sure that public authorities provide information about themselves to the public, lacks basic information about itself.
I know bureaucracies everywhere are the same, but isn’t it a pity that Kafka and Borges weren’t born in India? Such fun they would have had.
Posted by Amit Varma on 04 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
WTF
WTF headline of the day:
Patna: Lalu’s nephew held for attempted kidnapping
Perhaps appropriately, the “attempted kidnapping” happened near the Patna Zoo.
Posted by Amit Varma on 03 April, 2008 in
India |
News |
WTF
On 62 sandstone elephants in Lucknow. Their cost, according to CNN-IBN: Rs. 38 crore. They will be part of the Ambedkar Memorial, which, according to The Economic Times, is being built at “a whopping cost of Rs 7 billion.”
That’s Rs. 700 crore.
Yes, yes, I know that’s your money, and mine. But it’s not like we were planning to do anything useful with it. The nation needs an Ambedkar Memorial. And the memorial needs sandstone elephants. No?
(Link via email from Akshat Kaul. For more on how our government loots us, check out my Taxes Archive.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 03 April, 2008 in
Economics |
India |
News |
Old memes |
Taxes |
Politics |
WTF
Ah, April 1! It’s that day of the year again when one is wary of taking others seriously, so there is no better time for me to resume blogging. I’m going to be a little tight on time for the next couple of days as well, so here are some links to keep you going.
A couple of readers asked me for my reaction to the recommendations of the Sixth Pay Commission, as it’s my money being spent (not that anyone cares). I shall be lazy and point to Bibek Debroy’s excellent comment in India Today, in which he points out that the proposed hikes will effectively be “a transfer from 375 million who work outside the government to 45 million who work for government and quasi-government bodies.” Aroon Purie also has something to say about the “Rs 66,000 crore gorilla” that runs our country.
A recent example of government dysfunction was the Goa government’s handling of the Scarlett Keeling case: when ministers and top cops come on TV and blame a young girl’s rape on her mother because she left the kid alone, it makes the skin crawl. Devangshu Datta puts it in context of another “WTF moment” he once had on a ship.
Speaking of WTF moments, check out this Shashi Tharoor piece in which he argues that a study that shows “correlation between engineering and terrorism” (with no hint of causation, mind you) constitutes an “argument in favour of studying the humanities.” Lest engineer readers of this blog do something rash in dismay, let me point out that Tharoor does say: “I know a few engineers who wouldn’t harm a fly.” Isn’t that kind of him?
A few days ago I’d blogged about the great Tantra Challenge. Reader Ajit Joshi informs me that he has persuaded Rationalist International to put the videos on YouTube—so here you go.
Speaking of rationalists, Christopher Hitchens writes about Hillary Clinton’s “flagrant, hysterical, repetitive, pathological lying,” and points out how she is guilty of both suggestio falsi and suppressio veri. Read the full piece.
Finally, I shall end with the quote of the day, from the Economist review of Salman Rushdie’s “The Enchantress of Florence”:
Mr Rushdie ought to bear in mind that a novelist is at heart a storyteller, not a serial creator of self-delighting sentences.
What baffles me is that there are actually many people who love those self-delighting sentences, such as the good friend who sent me the above link, Manish Vij. I assure all pretty desi women in Boston and thereabouts—Manish was available last I heard—that he has no other bad qualities.
Posted by Amit Varma on 01 April, 2008 in
Arts and entertainment |
India |
Miscellaneous |
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WTF
Quote of the day:
They honestly thought that because it appeared on the Internet it was true. It boggles the mind.
This is Robert Salisbury, an Oregon man whose house was stripped of its belongings after “[a] pair of hoax ads on Craigslist” that said that Salisbury “was forced to leave the area suddenly and his belongings, including a horse, were free for the taking.” Salisbury was traveling when he got a call regarding the horse, and rushed home. On the way “he stopped a truck loaded down with his work ladders, lawn mower and weed eater.”
“I informed them I was the owner, but they refused to give the stuff back,” Salisbury said. “They showed me the Craigslist printout and told me they had the right to do what they did.”
Any sense of deja vu you are now experiencing is not due to a glitch in the matrix—this has happened before. Expect more copycat postings.
(Link via email from Arun Simha.)
Just see the things people get offended by:
Protesters mobbed Filmistan Studios in Mumbai seeking an apology from actress Tanushree Dutta for allegedly insulting actor Nana Patekar during the shoot of an item song.
On the sets of the film Horn Ok Please, Tanushree was to make some physical contact with Patekar during the item number, which she refused.
Her refusal was seen as an insult to the actor.
The protesters surrounded her car outside Filmistan Studios seeking an apology from her, but she refused to leave her car.
Mid Day, in a related story about how Dutta was “involved in the manhandling of a TV news channel,” reports that there was some fuss about a scene “in which Nana Patekar had to touch her cheeks.” Rediff tells us that it all started when “a unit member made a lewd remark” because of Tanushree’s “skimpy outfit.” ToI informs us that she’s been thrown out of the film, and Rakhi Sawant has taken her place.
One day when I’m rich and famous, I’ll also have goons who will go around defending my honour. They will stop random people on the street and ask, “How many cow posts are there on India Uncut?” Anyone who doesn’t know will be deemed to have insulted me, and Nana Patekar will touch their cheeks. Plausible?
(CNN-IBN link via email from Karthik Perumal.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 28 March, 2008 in
Arts and entertainment |
News |
WTF
I’ve been a bit preoccupied the last couple of days, and blogging has been light. So a few quick links:
Rahul Gandhi, who is travelling through Karnataka, wants journalists to leave him alone. “I want to interact with people freely,” he says, “because I like to say many things off-the-record.” In other words, he doesn’t want to be accountable for his public utterances. He’s lucky he’s inherited India and not the USA, where virtually anything a politician says can end up on YouTube.
Mid Day mistakes betting for match-fixing. The headline mentions match-fixing, the text only speaks of betting and satta. Do they really think there’s no difference?
Rediff reports: “Britney’s pregnant teen sister gets engaged”. That’s too much information for one headline, no? By the time Rediff’s readers process it, the baby will out and cutting records.
Abdul Ghaffar, accused of stealing “two cans of groundnut oil 14 years ago,”, has been acquitted. There is no mention in the report whether the people who actually took that oil have been apprehended. I consider it likely that they’ve consumed the evidence.
I’ve just discovered Ayaz Memon’s column from last Sunday: It’s headlined “The fantasy of make believe.” Er, Ayaz?
And finally, check out this superb piece by one of my favourite columnists, Stanley Fish, on denouncing and renouncing. An excerpt:
This denouncing and renouncing game is simply not serious. It is a media-staged theater, produced not in response to genuine concerns – no one thinks that Obama is unpatriotic or that Clinton is a racist or that McCain is a right-wing bigot – but in response to the needs of a news cycle. First you do the outrage (did you see what X said?), then you put the question to the candidate (do you hereby denounce and renounce?), then you have a debate on the answer (Did he go far enough? Has she shut her husband up?), and then you do endless polls that quickly become the basis of a new round.
I am beginning to believe that the main purpose of elections is not to enable democracy but to provide newspapers with material to write about. And blogs, of course.
Blogging will continue to be infrequent for the next couple of days. I wish you happiness.
Posted by Amit Varma on 27 March, 2008 in
Arts and entertainment |
India |
Journalism |
Media |
News |
Politics |
WTF
The Daily Telegraph reports:
A Polish worker has come up with an unusual excuse after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner.
The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital’s staff canteen.
A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its “nose”.
If I were you, I would pay no attention to the rumour that Bill Clinton has a vacuum cleaner named Monica. None at all.
(Link via email from Sanjeev, who invokes the lamp-post.)
Former BCCI President Jagmohan Dalmiya has been found to have misappropriated over Rs 2.90 crore of the cricket body’s funds during his tenure, police said on Monday.
Acting on a case filed by the BCCI in March 2006 after Union Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar took over as head of the game’s governing body, the Economic Offences Wing (EOW) has found that Dalmiya diverted funds meant for legal fees towards other expenses including paying for personal phone bills.
[...]
The crime branch will be filing a chargesheet against Dalmiya, Gautam Dutta and KM Choudhary in the matter on Wednesday in a local court, he said.
I don’t get it. The chargesheet hasn’t been filed yet, and the newspapers report that Dalmiya ”has been found to have [blah-blah]”. It’s as if the cops and investigative agencies in the country pass judgement on crimes, not the courts. Surely an “allegedly” in there wouldn’t have harmed the story too much.
I’m not supporting Dalmiya here, who may well be guilty for all I know. But a judgement on that should come from the courts, not from the cops investigating him or the press, seeking a story but unconcerned about what the truth may be.
Posted by Amit Varma on 25 March, 2008 in
India |
Journalism |
Media |
News |
WTF
I’ve heard of people missing flights, but this is the first I’ve heard of a flight missing an airport:
In a slip-up barely hours after the Shamshabad airport opened for business, a KLM flight from Amsterdam, which was supposed to land at Hyderabad, skipped the airport and flew across the country — first to Delhi, and then to Mumbai.
Apparently, the pilot knew nothing about the new airport and was flying towards Begumpet only to be told that the facility had been shut. He was directed to Shamshabad, to which the pilot asked the air traffic control: “Shamshabad? What’s that?” The pilot then flew to Delhi, from where, after being refused permission to land, he took the plane to Mumbai.
I can imagine the pilot as a child asking for peanut-butter toast and being given toast with jam on it instead. “Jam? What’s that?” he says. “I want my peanut butter.”
(Link via email from Anand Gadiyar.)
Courtesy ToI, here’s the picture of the day:
Coming to think of it, this is pretty normal compared to the tamasha that is Indian politics. No?
Posted by Amit Varma on 23 March, 2008 in
India |
Politics |
WTF
Andy Borowitz is in top form. (Via Joby Joseph.)
By Amit Varma in Miscellaneous
You run the risk of a bow chica bow bow.
Pablo Bartholomew's latest exhibition offers intimate recall of the 70s and 80s
Read more...
Loins of Punjab Presents is a declaration of independence by the desi diaspora
Read more...
Sample clues
9 across: Van Morrison classic from Moondance (7)
6 down: Order beginning with ‘A’ (12)
Question by Amit Varma
In 1981, Jimmy Page, Chris Squire and Alan White got together to form a band, and tried to recruit Robert Plant into it. Plant attended one rehearsal…
