Ben Macintyre introduces us to the term ‘post-turtle’:
A 75-year-old Texas rancher recently explained this term to a country doctor. The conversation turned to the US election, and Sarah Palin’s vice-presidential candidacy, and the old rancher observed: “Well, ya know, Palin is a post-turtle.” The bemused doctor asked what a post-turtle was, and the old man replied: “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post-turtle.” The rancher continued: “You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, she doesn’t know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.”
I love the term, and I really shouldn’t quibble, but it falls short in one sense—this turtle wanted to be on that fence post. Indeed, when it was asked to get up there, it did not blink—and now it wants to live up on the tallest fence post of all, in case Putin rears his head and all. No real turtle would have such self-delusion.
And really, turtles are sweet little things, and protecting them from such cruel analogies is yet another good reason to not vote for Sarah Palin.
(Link via email from Vikram Chandrashekar. More Palin: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 10 October, 2008 in
Politics
The news item of the day comes from The Hindu:
Air Customs seized 59 handguns from the baggage of two passengers who landed at the International Airport at Karipur. [...] The two claimed the guns were meant for “agricultural purposes”.
Maybe they were going to plant the guns, water them for a year and get an arms factory out of it. Jai jawan, jai kisan.
(Link via email from Gautam.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 10 October, 2008 in
India |
News |
WTF
The headline of the day concerns, surprise surprise, Sarah Palin:
Palin pre-empts state report, clears self in probe
The next thing you know her campaign will be releasing election results before the elections are held. That woman makes The Onion redundant, she does. So that’s another reason to vote against her—to keep The Onion going.
(Link via email from Gautam. More Palin: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 10 October, 2008 in
News |
Politics |
WTF
Raj Thackeray is at it again:
There is a new culinary dish being churned out in the political arena and it is called ‘spineless politician’ like the boneless chicken.
For once I agree with Thackeray—but not in the sense that he intends. I think there are too many spineless politicians in Mumbai, including in government, who don’t stand up for Mumbai’s people and condemn Thackeray’s demagoguery. They are driven by political considerations, not principles—but that is what makes them successful politicians, so I guess one shouldn’t hold that against them.
And there’s nothing wrong with boneless chicken. Unless it’s alive.
(Link via email from Turrtle.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 10 October, 2008 in
India |
News |
Politics
Ligaya Mishan goes to see Haruki Murakami at the New Yorker Festival:
[Murakami] began by telling the story of a jazzman who, when accused of playing “just like Charlie Parker,” handed his saxophone to his critic and said, “Here—you try playing like Charlie Parker.” He said that we should draw three conclusions from this:
1. Criticizing somebody is fun and easy.
2. Meanwhile, creating something original is very hard.
3. But somebody’s got to do it.
I know many bloggers who take point 1 very seriously—and stop right there.
Posted by Amit Varma on 09 October, 2008 in
Arts and entertainment |
Blogging
I’m bewildered and confused by Abu Salem’s legal notice to Monica Bedi, which seems to be written by his lawyer, for its inclination and tendency to use two words where one would do. From the three news reports about it (1, 2, 3), I find that:
1] Salem is “deeply hurt and distressed” by Monica’s denial of their marriage. He is unable to “comprehend or fathom” why she would do such a thing.
2] He had “actively encouraged and supported” Bedi’s acting career.
3] He finds “peace, solace and comfort” from reading the letters she sends him.
4] His love for her shall never “diminish or fade away” even if she wants to “split up or sever their marital ties”.
5] If their marriage is an “obstruction, hardship or obstacle” to her acting career, he is ready to divorce her so that she is “free, happy and at liberty.”
Phew, whew. If I was a judge reading this, I would book Salem and his lawyer for contempt of court for wasting my time in such a manner, in this way.
Many of our journalists are no better, of course.
Posted by Amit Varma on 08 October, 2008 in
India |
Journalism |
Media |
Miscellaneous |
News
Our censor board is ridiculous. DNA reports:
At a time when ads on TV are advocating the use a condom, the Indian Censor Board has chopped off a scene from Atul Agnihotri’s upcoming film Hello where Gul Panag asks her co-actor (Sharman Joshi) whether he is carrying a condom before they have casual sex.
[...]
Gul says, “The scene has me and Sharman making out. Like any educated woman I ask Sharman whether he is carrying a condom before we get into the act. Though the lovemaking scene will be retained, the ‘condom’ dialogue has been chopped off.
So sex is ok, but safe sex is not. Go figure.
And really, the very thought of a censor board makes steam come out of my ears. Why should a committee of people have the right to tell a filmmaker what he may or may not show in his film? What gives them the wisdom to decide what is appropriate viewing for me and my fellow countrymen? Pah.
Thank FSM our government doesn’t take blogs as seriously.
Also read:
Mommy-Daddy, Go Away
The Ministry of Wet Dreams
Fighting Against Censorship
Posted by Amit Varma on 07 October, 2008 in
Arts and entertainment |
Freedom |
India |
News |
WTF
Sarah Palin may not be fit to govern America, but going by her recent spontaneous bursts of poetry, she could certainly be the next American poet laureate. Slate has some samples of her formidable oeuvre here—my favourite:
Outside
by Sarah Palin
I am a Washington outsider.
I mean,
Look at where you are.
I’m a Washington outsider.
I do not have those allegiances
To the power brokers,
To the lobbyists.
We need someone like that.
(Recited to C. Gibson, ABC News, Sept. 11, 2008)
I especially love the irony inherent in the transformation of “I am a” to “I’m a” in the course of a stanza, which reveals a subtle genius entirely wasted on politics. So there’s another reason not to vote for her ticket.
(Link via email from Scribbler. More Palin: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 07 October, 2008 in
Politics
1] Free distribution of condoms.
2] Backless cholis and low-waist ghagras.
3] Blogging.
Ok, fine, I made that third one up. I can’t (yet) cite the moral police as an excuse for my recent blogging slowdown—I’ve just had a bout of blogging fatigue, which, after close to four years and more than 6000 posts, I’m allowed. Immense listlessness has come. Massive pointlessness is felt. And so on.
Anyway, I’m resuming now. Let’s see how it goes.
(Links via emails from Mahendra and Mani respectively.)
Posted by Amit Varma on 07 October, 2008 in
Freedom |
India |
Personal
Mudra Mehta reveals the different attitudes men and women bring to buying bags. I wonder how many bags she bought as research for her post.
I’ll add to her observations by pointing out that most men only care about how functional a bag is, while women look at bags as fashion accessories. For a man, having one bag for daily use is just fine; for a woman, that would be equivalent to owning just one t-shirt, or one pair of shoes.
I suspect that these attitudes might just be reversed when it comes to cars. Unfortunately for us men, bags are much cheaper than cars. Lucky chicas.
Posted by Amit Varma on 04 October, 2008 in
Miscellaneous
