Why should Veronica wear a saree?

This news baffles me? Where in India have you seen school and college students wearing sarees, except for special functions and suchlike? Is India’s Riverdale going to be based in an India of stereotype, or the India of 2007?

Having said that, I wouldn’t object if they put Jughead in a saree. The palloo should keep getting trapped in his hat thingie. There’s a story-arc right there.

Posted by Amit Varma on 26 April, 2007 in Arts and entertainment | India

Govinda, Chow and Mow

For some inexplicable reason, immense trepidation comes when I read this:

Govinda is very serious about his comeback and he is practising his dancing like earlier days. His old buddies Narendra and Kaushik, also known as Chow and Mow, of the Modern Dance Academy are teaching the actor how to salsa and jive.

All we need now is Chunky Pandey in leotards and Javed Jaffery in a bikini, and we can tell the Ramsay Brothers to retire. What horror is left?

Posted by Amit Varma on 26 April, 2007 in Arts and entertainment

George Orwell and Ashwani Kumar

George Orwell once wrote, in his classic essay ”Politics and the English language”:

Now, it is clear that the decline of a language must ultimately have political and economic causes: it is not due simply to the bad influence of this or that individual writer. But an effect can become a cause, reinforcing the original cause and producing the same effect in an intensified form, and so on indefinitely. A man may take to drink because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks. It is rather the same thing that is happening to the English language. It becomes ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts.

A fine illustration of the kind of sloppy language Orwell warned us about appears in the Hindustan Times today, in a piece written by a minister in our national government, Ashwani Kumar. He writes:

For the record, and by way of a gentle reminder, it needs to be reiterated that Nehru’s contribution as the architect of modern India and as the leader of the freedom movement is firmly established in the annals of modern Indian history. Nehru’s pre-eminence is assured for his idealism and for being the one who articulated in his vision the will of his age and redeemed his promise through ceaseless service of his people.

That second sentence, especially, is monstrous, and I worry when the language of our politicians is so shabby, for it surely reflects in the way they think as well. ("Will of his age”? Individuals have a will, ages don’t!) And yes, it is entirely possible that Mr Kumar’s first language may not be English, but there is then surely all the more reason for simple writing. The rest of his piece, in which he defends the Nehru-Gandhi family with all the eagerness and lucidity of a well-trained labrador, is quite as worrying.

(As if you haven’t read it already, here’s my piece on the Nehru-Gandhi family. And yes, I know a case can be made for the family as well, but for FSM’s sake, make it well then!)

Posted by Amit Varma on 26 April, 2007 in India | Politics

Vijay Mallya’s ambush marketing

Ranjan blogs about an excellent illustration of ambush marketing. Immense smartness.

Posted by Amit Varma on 26 April, 2007 in Miscellaneous

The Anthem and the Flag

This is the 11th installment of my weekly column for Mint, Thinking it Through. It has its genesis in this post.

It was a hot April afternoon in Delhi. The Rashtrapati Bhavan Barista was empty. A waiter lounged by the counter, patriotically indulging in the national pastime (see 94th amendment) of doing nothing much. Then two customers walked in: National Anthem and National Flag.

“Sit,” said Flag to Anthem. “It looks like it’s been a tough month for you.”

Read more...

Posted by Amit Varma on 26 April, 2007 in Dialogue | Essays and Op-Eds | Freedom | India | Thinking it Through

Don’t upset Poonam Dhillon

She’ll make you do sit-ups.

Also on Mid Day, the most bizarre headline ever.

Posted by Amit Varma on 25 April, 2007 in

“You want a banana, go plant your own tree”

Surely you are a huge fan of Dayal Baba. No? Really? Watch this:

(Link via email from the good Devangshu.)

Posted by Amit Varma on 25 April, 2007 in Arts and entertainment

Does the two-rupee coin reflect a communal agenda?

A few weeks ago, Prabhu had alerted me to a strange controversy over the new two-rupee coin. It seemed too bizarre to blog about: there are weirdos everywhere, and while they cause much amusement, it is best to leave them alone. Well, now reader Annette writes in to inform me that the BJP has taken up the issue, and wants to debate it in parliament. (Parliament runs on taxpayers’ money, I need not remind you.)

And what is the controversy about? Well, in the first article I linked to, a gentleman named V Sundaram pointed out that there is a cross with four dots on the back of the new two-rupee coin that is very similar to one issued by issued by Louis the Pious in the ninth century. See the picture below:

Mr Sundaram claims that this “calculated national mischief” reflects, in the words of a gentleman he approvingly quotes, “the calculated motive of the Italian-led government [...] to spread Christianity in India.” He writes:

Ever since the UPA government under the dynastic stranglehold of Sonia Gandhi came to power in New Delhi in May 2004, it has been following a calculated and damnable policy which I have often described times without number as ‘Christianity-Coveting, Islam-embracing and Hindu-Hating in stance, posture, ideology, philosophy, programme and action.’

Now, I’m no fan of the Nehru-Gandhi family, but I’m quite sure that Gandhi has no such “damnable policy” on her mind, “calculated” or otherwise. Indeed, when I first read that piece, I thought that maybe Mr Sundaram was trying a parody, and had gone slightly over the top in the process. Can anyone really think that someone would try to spread Christianity in India through a cross on a coin?

And now we have Vijay Kumar Malhotra of the BJP saying:

It’s the ruling Congress which is pursuing communal agenda in virtually every sphere, from social, political, economic, military to now in national currency.

A communal agenda in national currency? Our nation certainly needs humour, but these gentlemen aren’t comedians, they’re politicians, and they might rule us some day again. They’ll surely issue new two-rupee coins then, and we’ll get confused all over again. Sigh.

Posted by Amit Varma on 25 April, 2007 in India | Politics

Rakhi Sawant ain’t no wannabe starlet

The moment I heard of Jahnvi Kapoor, I realised with a sigh that this would surely lead to many half-baked “trend stories.” And indeed, DNA has a story on wannabe starlets losing the plot, which looks at other such young ladies such as Preeti Jain. However, I object to Rakhi Sawant being included in that list, and to the following excerpt:

But do these gimmicks really work? At least, it did in Rakhi Sawant’s case, who was seen on all TV channels and even made it to the front page of national dailies after Mika Singh allegedly forcefully kissed her. The item girl managed to bag the first season of ‘Bigg Boss’ too.

This is lazy journalism. Firstly, anyone who followed the Rakhi Sawant-Mika case should know that it was no gimmick manufactured by her, but a genuine incident that she felt aggrieved about. (My posts on the subject: 1, 2, 3, 4.) Secondly, she was certainly better known than Mika before the incident happened. Thirdly, she was a big enough celebrity, being the most popular item-girl in Bollywood, to participate in Bigg Boss on her own merit. (Was Deepak Parashar invited to take part because someone kissed him? Horrors!)

That DNA story wouldn’t have enough meat in it with only a couple of names, of course, so the writer conveniently dragged Rakhi Sawant in. In doing so, was she not using Rakhi in the same way she accuses Janhvi of using Abhishek Bachchan and Preeti of using Madhur Bhandarkar? Pah.

(More on Rakhi: 1, 2, 3, 4. And some posts on Bigg Boss: 1, 2, 3, 4.)

Posted by Amit Varma on 25 April, 2007 in Arts and entertainment | Journalism

The spaced-out APJ Abdul Kalam

I had commented in an earlier post on APJ Abdul Kalam’s desire to explore Mars, aghast that someone would propose such a terrible use of taxpayers’ money in a country where millions don’t have access to drinking water. (If Mr Kalam went himself, of course, that would justify it somewhat.) Well, this ToI report gives us a better understanding of why Mr Kalam wishes to spend your maid’s taxes on space exploration:

Addressing a packed lecture hall at the International Space University (ISU) Tuesday evening at the edge of this northeastern French city, famous for being the seat of the European Parliament, Kalam told the students drawn from around the world that space has no borders: “When we explore space, (it) can act as a motivator for national collaboration between nations.”

Space is a “platform for sharing ideas and technologies and to work towards a sustainable world with peace and prosperity,” said Kalam.

Hmmm. So let’s spend hundreds of crores of rupees so that we can collaborate well with other nations, an aim that can obviously not be achieved by any other means. Joy.

(Here are some earlier posts on Kalam. And look, if Kalam is our prototype for president, let’s please make Sanjaya Malakar our next head of state. At least he’s got the hair.)

Posted by Amit Varma on 25 April, 2007 in India