06 July, 2007

The sex habits of Indians

Right, so we have Khajuraho and a billion people, but the latest Durex Sex Survey reveals that “the average age at which Indians lose their virginity is 22.9.” (That’s years, not months.) The last survey had indicated that Indians were the “most committed love-makers”, and I’d wondered then if a lot of such commitment was “a rationalisation for lack of opportunity.” Hmmm.

Now is the time to make some wild generalizations about Indians, beginning with Durex’s ‘discovery’:

1] Indians lose their virginity too late.
2] Indians get married too early.
3] Point 1 often comes after point 2, which is simply silly.
4] Indian men are repressed, and masturbate too much.
5] Indian women are repressed, but masturbate too little.
6] Indian men have pot bellies. They cannot see their weewee while doing peepee. It is, generally, a sad state of affairs.

I repeat, these are all wild generalizations, and not the result of any scientific survey. None of them apply to me. Also, I’m less sure of the fifth point than the others, as I’m not a woman, and thus don’t do girl-talk with other women. (If I was one, I’d play with myself all day. As the song goes, “All day, all night/ haath sataaye meri/ oye hoye/ haath sataaye meri.")

And if you’re a young Indian student worried by these statistics, I have just one thing to say to you: Don’t just sit there, do something!

(Link via email from reader Shashank.)