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My Friend Sancho

My first book, My Friend Sancho, was published in May 2009, and went on to become the biggest selling debut novel released that year in India. It is a contemporary love story set in Mumbai, and had earlier been longlisted for the Man Asian Literary Prize 2008. To learn more about the book, click here.


If you're interested, do join the Facebook group for My Friend Sancho


Click here for more about my publisher, Hachette India.


My posts on India Uncut about My Friend Sancho can be found here.


Bastiat Prize 2007 Winner

Recent entries

I’m All In: Confessions of a Poker Obsessive

This personal essay by me appears in the winter edition of Forbes Life India. I feel the ground sway…

‘No Touching, Only Seeing, Okay?’

I’m amazed that India hasn’t yet woken up to the fact that Himesh Reshammiya is the new Govinda. I…

Vishwa Bandhu Gupta and Cloud Computing

If you thought Ponytail’s speech the other day was funny, wait till you see this: Vishwa Bandhu Gupta, former…

The Sadness of Dogs

The New York Times reports: A video of a dog apparently mourning the death of his owner at a…

‘That is Not a Lump, Mr Beck, It is a Blessing’

Huffington Post reports: Glenn Beck called Hurricane Irene a “blessing” on his Friday radio show, saying it would teach…

16 April, 2009

The Erection Commission Of India

The Election Commission of India has brought out a Handbook for Candidates (pdf link) this year that contains the following remarkable lines:

DEFACEMENT OF PUBLIC OR PRIVATE PROPERTY

Many of the State/Union territories have laws to prevent the defacement of property, which term includes any building, structure, hut, wall, tree, fence, post, pole or any other erection.

I hope you understand the significance of this. All these years you have believed that an erection is a natural event, containing no threat to democracy. But you were wrong. True, erections themselves are not illegal, but their defacement might be—and every erection carries within it the seeds of its own defacement. Furthermore, it could be argued that the thought of this defacement is what causes the erection in the first place, and thus there is no further need for the cops to prove intent.

I wonder if the government has Erection Commissioners to monitor such laws. If so, wouldn’t pretty buxom women in revealing clothes be the best candidates for the job? They could cause the crime they are out to punish, thus meeting their targets with ease. I can just about imagine one such erection commissioner striding over to me, her hips swaying, her chest thrust forward, her lips erotically apart, saying: “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you breaking the law?

Ah, I love life in the world’s biggest democracy.

(Link via email from Pratap Bhanu Mehta.)

Posted by Amit Varma in India | Politics | WTF

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